Canticles of the Prophet Zachariah:

The Dollhouse

Notes by Anthony

“Our second stop in D.C. was Gwen’s old apartment in Adams Morgan. Her two ghouls brought down a large drum that I totally don’t think was made out of human skin. Then we drove around Ivy City, the Malkavian haven in D.C. before the Sabbat arrived. I saw a symbol on one of the townhouses and told Gwen to stop the car. It had been crossed out and disfigured, but something about it called to me. A nearly perfect oval with a jagged line rising from the bottom and nearly reaching the top. It looked like a thumbprint or a broken hand mirror.

“We got out of the car. I walked around the building, all my senses alert with Auspex. I could feel someone within the building. Their mind felt familiar. Someone with the same madness as I, but not Kindred. I returned to the front of the building and reported my findings to Gwen. She knocked. A middle-aged man opened the door slightly. A heavy chain lock kept us from seeing more than an inch of his face. He was pale and sweating. Gwen told him we were friends of Cedric. He got angry. I told him that she was telling the truth. I was Zachary, one of the newest to be Embraced by the clan. The man muttered angrily, calling me the “Ruiner of Things.” Though, we heard him unlock the chain even as he slammed the door in our faces.

“While Gwen explored the townhouse, I sat with the man at the kitchen table. I asked him his name. A simple question, but it confused him. Eventually, he told me that he thought it was Nathaniel, but he wasn’t sure. A sick feeling had started to grow in my stomach. This wasn’t right. Even being deprived of Prentiss’s blood for a week should not have messed his head up this badly.

“I asked when he last saw Prentiss. It was just before the Elysium at the Smithsonian National Zoo. That night, he had a vision of her falling off Chain Bridge and into the Potomac. He had looked for her body but never found her. I told him that those connected to the Cobweb had felt her die a Final Death. Her anger had shaken the threads that held the web together. But she was gone. I told him he was free to choose what he wanted now, but he didn’t seem to understand.

“Gwen returned and told me to follow. She had found prospective fetters for Prentiss, but there were other things she needed me to study with my Malkavian sight. Oh, right. For listeners not familiar with occult practices for contacting the dead, fetters are objects that are important to a person during their life. When someone dies, their spirit can be tied to that objects. That object can be used to contact the spirit, and if the object is destroyed, the spirit may lose its connection to the living world. When Gwen has a fetter of a ghost, she can find and command the spirit. She has wanted to find a fetter for Prentiss since we found out she died, as she was a powerful fighter for the S’eth Adar, the Camarilla cops and cleanup crew for Masquerade breaches.

“Anyway, back to haunted house of horrors. Gwen led me to the attic. Stuffed animals and dolls littered the floor. Two stood out: a teddy bear and porcelain doll. Crayon and paint and charcoal drawings covered the walls. I recognized the Temple. And there was very nice picture of someone who is either me or another fat bearded Jewish man in a small recording booth. I recognized the style from the graffiti Jinx had left in D.C. A phonograph and stack of records lined one wall. A part of me that still remembered being a radio host wanted to catalogue and take them. But that was drowned out by the last item in the room. The one I have avoided mentioning.

“Have you seen A Clockwork Orange, listeners? Stanley Kubrick. Classic. You should. If not, wait until after this broadcast and report to your local Blockbuster as soon as it opens. But for those cinephiles amongst our listeners, do you remember when Alex undergoes the Ludovico Technique rather than go to prison? He’s drugged, restrained to a chair, and forced to keep his eyes open. Minus the eye part, that’s what this chair was. Old, dried blood stained the arm rests cushioning. A hole in the seat led to a metal pot. It looked clean, but the smell of shit and piss was unmistakable. It was a torture device. Something Prentiss had used often. And Gwen wanted me to perform psychometry on it.

“I decided to read the toys first. Start with something a little more cuddly. The teddy bear was a bust, I could only see Nathaniel picking it up from a Toys R Us shelf and putting it into a cart. Next was the doll. The porcelain skin was smooth and cooler than my dead flesh. The silky dress was soft. I stroked it without thinking as a tried to feel the emotions imprinted into it.

“Fear. Overwhelming fear. Hatred. Jinx cradling the doll. Stroking with such gentleness. The words “China doll” repeated over and over again. I vibrated with hate and anger but could not express it. I was trapped. Helpless. Just like this doll. I wanted to smash it. I felt the joints creak as my grip tightened on it. I set it down. I felt dizzy. Exhausted. I reported to Gwen what I saw. My voice sounded strangely calm and rational to my ears. She pointed to the chair. I touched it. 

“Jinx, again. A pretty dress over my slim body. Nothing underneath. Slipping one hand out of the cuff. Prentiss strapping me back in. The words “Mother, Dearest” falling from my mouth. Unable to conceal the venom on my tongue. Prentiss smacking me across the face. Pain. Pain is familiar. I can focus with pain. Prentiss pouring her blood into a cup of tea. Spitting it out. Drinking from her wrist. Visions of Prentiss, holding a toddler. Its life slipping through her fingers with each bone-rattling cough. Nathaniel cutting sandwiches into little crustless triangles. Plying him for information. Ice cream and crayons. Pretending to be sweet and gentle. Prentiss drinking my blood. Dizzy. Tired. Nothing. My head on her breast. Drinking her blood. Screaming. Crying. Forced to release into the pot below. This was the Embrace, the part of Jinx that was Zachary reminded himself. And yet, the memories persisted. A year in the attic. Drawing and painting and trying to escape and being strapped back in. Over and over and over again. 

“God, listeners. No wonder Jinx wants to burn the world down and everyone in it.

“I stumbled downstairs to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face. I looked into the mirror and tried to find Cedric in the Cobweb. I needed to scream at him. To demand answers. Prentiss was his Childe. He had Embraced her. Unleashed her into this world. He had let her do this to people. To children. Over and over. Jinx was just the latest victim. I had been told that Malkavians were insane. Monsters, even amongst the vampires. For once, I couldn’t disagree.

“But Cedric wasn’t alone. Comet was there. Ben. The threads binding them were so delicate. The chaos around Ben ebbing ever so slightly. The anger drained out of me. Cedric had made Prentiss. Turned a blind eye to the horrors. Maybe even facilitated them. But he was helping me now. Helping Ben. I had to believe we could choose to be better. To not be monsters.

“Gwen took the portrait of Prentiss’s human children and her S’eth Adar weaponry and uniform to her car. She told me it was better to kill Nathaniel. No one was coming for him. Without his Domitor’s blood he would wither and age and die in agony. But I could not stomach killing him. I wanted to bring him with us. Maybe I could help him. Maybe I could fix him. Maybe. 

“I could give you excuses, listeners. Rational reasons as to why we left him behind. Many were those ones Gwen told me when I asked if we could bring Nathaniel with us. He was insane. Dangerous. The Temple was a delicate operation. We had to keep the number of people who knew its location to a minimum. We couldn’t afford to feed another mouth.

“But the truth is, listeners. I was tired. Exhausted. I kept remembering how Nathaniel had kept Jinx in the attic. He never tried to free her. Not even once. I had ghouled Ben without knowing the consequences and a month later he was dead in my arms. And now I had no idea if he would ever wake up. Could I bear to control another person. Make them worship and need me the way Ben did. And Embracing Nathaniel without helping him first seemed like a bad idea. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t turn into another Prentiss. A true Malkavian monster.

“So, we left him. I sat Nathaniel on the porch and told him a story. He had never seen us. Never shown us inside the house. Never told us about Prentiss and Jinx. Instead, he decided to sit outside and watch the sunrise. It was beautiful tonight. The city was so quiet and peaceful.

“So, if you want to call in with your thoughts, listeners, maybe take a second to think about what I’ve been through and where I’m coming from, okay? I still don’t know if I did the right thing. Should I have let Gwen kill him? Brought him to the Temple and confronted Cedric? Ghouled him myself? Embraced him? Once you’ve thought it over, give us a call.

“The drive back to the Temple was quiet. We’d just entered Oxon Hill when I felt something. A tickle on the back of my neck. I told Gwen to pull over. We were being watched. Maybe by George. Maybe by someone else. But we couldn’t risk leading them to our destination. She agreed without argument and pulled into a gas station. The truck was blacked out, so we could stay here until sunrise. The ghouls could drive us to the Temple during the day. 

“I found myself before an old castle on a hill. The ground around me was rocky and it thrummed below me. Then the castle exploded. I tried to shield my eyes and face. Spirits flew out of the house. It looked like they were coming up from the very earth below it. They swarmed around me, biting my face and hands. I screamed and screamed even as they rushed into my throat. Something was pinning my chest down. I was trapped. I tried to open my eyes. The world was pitch black around me. Had they already eaten my eyes?

“Light flooded my vision. I fumbled at my restraints and hit the seat belt buckle. I flung myself out of the car and into Asa’s arms. He held me and told me I was awake. I was safe. We were back at the Temple. The four of us met up. Apparently, Rose and Asa had done the two thing Gwen asked them not to. They had investigated the Temple and abandoned Griselda for the night. Rose had heard the voice of a demon inside, and it dared Rose to ask it to open the door. She did, and it predictably opened. They closed it without going inside. I tried to defuse the situation, but both Asa and Rose knew they messed up and weren’t too mad that Gwen was yelling at them. 

“As we walked into the Temple antechamber, I told them about the Fat Man I had encountered with George. Demons were in this world, but they seemed to operate on the periphery. Hopefully, this one was just messing with us. I activated Auspex and saw lines of energy I hadn’t before. The same as I had seen in the Sisterhood cave. Ley lines, I think. I couldn’t move them, but Asa and Gwen and Rose could. They did so, and the door to the rest of the Temple opened. The ceiling was lit with bioluminescent lighting. More grooves lay in the door before us. Similar to the ones that consumed our blood to open the door in the Temple Antechamber. We were in the Temple. We had made it.”